Our Culture of Victimhood

In today’s world, we are victims. If you watch the news, listen to people who got busted speeding, or even sit in on a divorce court session you will see that it is never our fault. I can’t be in the wrong. This is what our narcissistic culture has brought us too, right? Maybe we should drop our own individual narcissism, and stop being afraid of looking bad.

When victimhood comes into play, I see it in 3 settings: Our Relationship with God, our relationship with our communities, and our relationships with each other.

Our relationship with God is a unique one. This relationship started out as intimate as possible, was split due to humanity’s decision to sin, and yet the God who got hurt is the one who is trying to fix the relationship. Yet when things go wrong, it is God who gets blamed. We constantly look at ourselves as being punished and then blame God for being a bully. However, we never look at ourselves and see where we went wrong. God is not a bully rather a just God. If we do wrong, we must own up to the punishment. If we do right, we are rewarded greatly. This is the common economics of justice. A concept that we see throughout our entire community.

Our relationships with our community is based on the concept of laws. Much like the basis of God’s commandments, the communities based an entire organization off set rules that are easily accessible for review by anyone. Yet when we break the law, it is the community’s fault. I constantly want to laugh when I hear someone get pulled over for speeding. The first thing that I see people do is blame the cop for doing their job. “Well, if the cop was so good at their job, they would have pulled the four other cars over for speeding.” Were you speeding? Then you had every right to get pulled over as did the others. We are never the ones at fault when it comes to our own faults. Then we wonder what is wrong with our personal lives when we think this way.

“If you didn’t want me mad, then you shouldn’t have made me mad.” A phrase commonly used in a considerably abusive relationship. This concept of narcissism catches me off guard. It is not my fault that I am angry it is your fault I am angry, but I am the one who is angry. When it comes to our relationships we have to evaluate ourselves before blaming others. Do I have a good reason to be angry? Is there ever a good reason to be angry? Is it worth being angry over? Am I the one in the wrong? Is this worth our relationship? If we do not consider that we can be the ones in the wrong, then we are the ones at fault for our relationships falling apart.

We need to take a step back from our victimhood. We need to consider that we are not the golden child of God and that God is just being a bully. We need to consider that maybe me being punished by my community is because I broke the law. We need to consider that it is our job to maintain our relationships and thinking that we are always right defeats our purpose. You are not the victim.